If you’ve been around Facebook for the past few days, it is likely that you have come across that photo of a girl with her top raised, exposing her breasts, with a guy sucking on one of her “goodies” while at least five men stood along and cheered them on.
A lot will consider that photo lewd, disgusting, totally unbecoming. What’s worse, all of them just view the girl as deplorable. The guys? Meh, they were just being guys. If you think like this, the only person you should be ashamed of is yourself.
At first glance, a lot of netizens blamed the girl for being drunk beyond control, and that’s why the guys took advantage of her state. They slut-shamed her, told her she deserved it, that she was “asking for it” anyway, that she used it to pull attention to herself, to somehow, make up for her lack of good looks. Again, no comment for the guys. Until when are we going to accept these comments, anyway? Seriously, humanity, we need to give justice to our education. This is why, whenever I come across this anti-feminist comments, I usually tell them off and take it as an opportunity to educate.
There’s new matter that came to light yesterday. Apparently, that photo is not from a regular club or rave party. Instead, that was a meetup or a grand eyeball event for a raunchy Facebook group called Playmate Nation. It was under the wing of an Underground Events “Council”, Pilipinas Underground. Pilipinas Underground apologized about it on their Facebook page, and announced that the event by Playmate Nation was organized by a non-legitimate member of the group and that the council is working on punishing such groups. Also, the event happened last February 14, 2015 and it happened in Marikina, not in Bacolod.
That said, here are my views:
A. Maybe the girl really wanted it to happen, not to be raped, or to be shamed in public, but to exhibit such sexual openness that she was willing to take her top off and be “pleased” by multiple guys. Maybe she gets off that way; she’s so sexually liberated and there’s nothing wrong with that. The Facebook group had a naughty flavor. She went to the party in a sexy attire. Maybe she really meant to go wild that night. These are her choices and she’s not hurting anyone. This doesn’t mean she begs not to be respected. It means that she made her choices, and she means for you to respect those choices. You’ve made a few bad decisions about your love or sex life, eh? Guess what, she doesn’t care.
B. Maybe she got so drunk that she really wasn’t aware of what’s happening. When you’re drunk, your inhibitions get lowered and your judgments are impaired. The guys, on the other hand, might have taken advantage of this and abused her sexually. Guys, this is STILL rape. A woman has to give her consent in a fair and fully conscious state for it NOT to be rape.
C. Instead of shaming the girl, why don’t we start shaming the guys? For me, the guys were showing a more alarming behavior because they’re just acting like animals, preying on a drunk, helpless girl’s actions. The guys didn’t show her (and themselves) enough respect. Seriously, who wants a guy like that?
D. Imagine if it was the other way around. What if it was a drunk guy being preyed on by ladies. Would you react the same? I’m pretty sure boys would be cheering him on, thinking he’s “so lucky” and nobody would probably say a bad thing about it. Hmm. Do you now see the double standards?
E. To youngsters everywhere, please be reminded that a drunk person is a weak person. We have to drink responsibly to avoid being taken advantage of, not just sexually, but we could also get robbed or we might hurt ourselves in a traffic accident if we walk around drunk.
F. I wish the photo wasn’t posted in social media. No matter what the real circumstances were, rape or no rape, everyone in that photo didn’t deserve to be put in public scrutiny like that. The Facebook Group was a secret group. The event was an underground event. Nobody’s photos should be posted in public without their consent. I wish an active body did something to take that photo down. And to the person who posted the girl’s selfie vis-a-vis the obscene photo? SHAME ON YOU. Nobody deserves that kind of embarrassment.
Well, the comments might have died down by now. After all, the photo has been around for a few days. I just needed to put those views out there to remind us that the world is changing. Girls can now choose to be open with their wild side and be unapologetic about it, that at certain instances, discretion must be upheld, that we must teach guys how to respect women instead of telling women to always hold back and “respect themselves” and lastly, that that we must treat rape as it is—forcing sexual advances to a victim in a disadvantaged state.
Now, let me get back to work.