I watched snippets of the Bb. Pilipinas pageant a few nights ago and read many Facebook status messages about how disappointed they are about how our very own MJ Lastimosa did for this year’s pageant. Let’s cut her some slack guys, she’s been through a lot and to reach Top 12 is a serious feat.
Anyway, in between my laptop hang-ups, I got to watch one part of the question and answer portion where success was mentioned. It was when the Bb. Pilipinas winner, Janine Tugonon, was asked if she’s willing to forego a happy family life for a successful career. The feminist in me automatically said, of course, it’s up to the woman. Wherever she feels more empowered at, then she should go for it. In fact, the fact that she’s given the option, that’s already very empowering.
Although that question may be very easy to answer, it also made me ask myself whether both choices can contribute to one’s personal success. This leads to the question, “How do you really define success?” In the first place, you have to have a main goal so you can align your efforts on that goal. When you see the target, that’s when you can start practicing hitting the bull’s eye.
According to studies, men and women define success differently. The top determinants of success for men are power, authority and financial freedom. For women, it’s more of finding one’s balance, purpose and being happy. While all may be true—maybe a little bit of everything, then—I realized that success has also been something that includes living for others, especially to the people and things that matter to us most.
Due to this mishmash of definitions, it is important that we define success for ourselves. If we don’t, then someone else will. Maybe it’s your lover, your boss or even your mom. If we are not strong enough to know what will really get us to the end (a.k.a. contentment) in the smoothest way possible, then we will continue being confused. Along the way, we waste a lot of time, energy and relationships may even turn sour.
Think about your ideal self 10, 20 and 30 years from now. What do you see? Everything you do must be inclined to that goal and that image of success. What’s more, you can even apply the old “The Secret” technique; it may help motivate you better.
Lastly, don’t let fear hold you back from your success. It is everyone’s biggest enemy but once you defeat it, life will be much more meaningful. Hooray to a successful you! 🙂