It’s not a secret that a lot of us face different kinds of pressures in our young adult life. There’s the pressure to earn, to show people that you’re successful, to own the best things, to go to the best places, to maintain good looks and even lead a truly amazing love life. It’s daunting right? It’s like, every single day, we remind ourselves that whatever we’re doing is not enough because we’re still not leading a perfect life. Ironically, those whom we idolize, those who appear to be leading such perfect lives, are full of their own problems as well.
One of the most stressful and time-consuming pressures that we feel is the pressure to be liked. When you just got off from college, you want to prove yourself to the world and you instantly want everyone to think that you’re hot stuff. Most of the time, we think that by doing our best to be liked, we will advance at work (and in life) faster.
The truth is, if you really want to get ahead of the game, revert your efforts to gaining respect rather than simply gaining a favorable opinion. I remember the book “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office”; it discussed how most women in the corporate world make a lot of contribution at work but never bother to go out, speak out and earn the credits. Is it that they are simply okay with that? Or they just don’t want to be labeled arrogant? (If they’re arrogant, their workmates would dislike them, of course.) These are the kinds of everyday things that accumulate and lead to the harsh realities of women not having equal rights, pay and treatment in the corporate world. But hey, that’s a different story. Sorry it’s the feminist in me checking in.
To gain respect doesn’t mean that you have to be mean. It just means that you know your value (both in and out of the workplace) and that you won’t put up with the smallest signs of disrespect. Don’t endure things that are not right just because you don’t want to be the first to speak up. Just speak up and don’t let your public speaking professor down. Remember to use a moderate tone and make your intentions clear, just to be sure.
Anyway, my dear friend, if you realize that you’re currently in this “Everyone must like me” trap, I hope you get out of it fast. Just accept the fact that not everyone will like you, or your opinions. Some people will not approve of your views, your outfits and even your plans for the future. Let them be! Take that extra pressure off your chest and you’ll feel a lot better. This way, you can devote your energies to doing the things that you love, and the more time and effort you put on those things, the better you will be.
And who won’t like that? 🙂