I know a lot of people in different walks of life who seem to have just little time for recreation, let alone dating. Also, “I’m busy” seems to be a very good excuse for someone who hasn’t done much dating lately. Well, let those days (and alibis) be gone! Here is a quick guide for dating workaholics, or dating when you’re a workaholic.
1. Are you really a workaholic? The first step is to determine if you’re really a workaholic. Psychological studies show that all the “-holic” tendencies (shopaholic, alcoholic, chocoholic, etc.) means a compensation for something else. So if you are a workaholic you’d have to admit it to yourself. Do you ALWAYS work the extra hours? Do you have a job (a department, a boss and a company) which demands excessively from you? Are you struggling to get promoted, or get a “regular” status? Try to track if there’s something wrong in your chosen career and try to lessen it or kill it. If you can’t then work with it and make sure it’s not long term.
2. Prioritize well. If somebody puts you off because they’re “too busy” then it means that they are working on other things but not on you because YOU ARE NOT A PRIORITY. Yes, that’s the cold hard truth guys. BUT if you use the busy excuse to put off dates, well, you might have an issue with yourself. Maybe you’re not really ready to date and you just need a quick way out. Also, if you have more than one date lined up for the week/ month, try to prioritize which are the ones which are more important. If you are with just one partner, remember the more important dates and determine which the best dates are for your partner to enjoy them the most.
3. Pay attention when you are on the date. Put off your Blackberries and your laptops. Hey, if you really wanna land a partner, you better pay attention to the potential ones. Dates are the perfect times to balance your work and your personal life. When your date is talking, listen to them. Observe. Affirm. Appreciate. Get to know them truly. Do not half-listen while running the next-day tasks at the back of your mind. Switch off work mode and immerse yourself in the moment. Also, try not to talk about work with your date. It’s nice to share funny and charming anecdotes but no complaining/ nagging please. If you think that you have found someone to go serious with, or have already gone serious with this person, take a breather from your day job and send them an email or a quick text message saying that you are thinking of them. Communicate well. It might sound like so much of an effort to you, but really, it’s worth it.
4. Start a life outside work. If work eats up most of you, then it must have eaten the best of you already. Avoid this by starting to have a life outside work. Pick a hobby that you’d be glad to improve and invest (not spend) a lot of time working on it. Also, try to broaden your horizons by having fun activities with people who are not from your office. It will really take your mind off work because you will talk about, laugh about and even argue (in a friendly way) about different things. So when you’re out in the dating market, you are not that boring old folk who is always talking about work and people from work. Yes, no matter how funny they are. Besides, getting out of the office is, by common sense, the best way to meet NEW people. That is, if you’re still single, okay?
Okay now workaholics, those busy excuses are all disqualified now. Enjoy dating and cherishing one very good investment—a long lasting relationship.
On the same breath, please do not use dating as an excuse to slack off at work. Haha!
Let me know what you think, workaholics. 😉