I am a lousy alarm clock user. Over the years of continuous alarm clock usage (and constantly insulting it through the use of the powerful snooze button) I have mastered ways to outsmart it. This is my morning game plan:
I set the alarm clock an hour before I actually have to get up. This alarm is set just to cut through my dreams and interrupt my sleep. Of course, it took me a long time to realize that there are more important things than dreaming about Westlife, Ed Westwick or Patrick Garcia. After that, I also have 3 different alarms, in 10-minute intervals. The last one is the one that holds the time when I’m supposed to actually get out of the bed. Then I give myself an hour and a half to prep before I leave home. (Actually, I prep fast. I just need extra time for those mornings when I feel lazy.) Here’s the illustration:
8AM Must leave home
6:30 Alarm 4 | Last one| MUST GET UP BITCH OR YOU’LL LOSE THIS DEAL!!!
6:20 Alarm 3 | Second to the last | I said, get up biatch.
6:10 Alarm 2 | Get up, princess..
5:10 Alarm 1 | Here’s a reminder telling you that an hour from now, you must get up and get back to reality.
Well, that is the ideal schedule. ^ Now let’s talk about the early morning prep horrors.
During cold mornings, I still tend to ignore my alarm clock screams. Sometimes, I am left with just 30 minutes to prep PLUS go to my appointment. All the while, I am praying for a cab the instant I get out of my apartment. And since my closet is full of neutral and easily wearable stuff, the only thing that keeps me extra crazy is the bath time. But through the years of stumbling into the same predicament, I have mastered the art of taking a 5 minute bath. Here it is:
1. You have to make sure that all your toiletries, your towel and your slippers are ready. Every fuckin’ day.
2. First off, splash water all over your body. Just one splash, but do it accurately and make sure that every inch is covered. (30 seconds max)
3. Skip shampoo and instead, put on conditioner. Don’t worry, it’s totally okay to skip your shampoo once in a while. Shampoo is made from chemicals (it’s supposed to clean your hair and scalp, it’s like a cleaning detergent as well, but a little milder) so the best way to go about it is to not do it everyday. However, you’re supposed to condition your hair because it’s the conditioner that transforms your hair into its ideal condition. (30 seconds max)
4. Don’t rinse your hair yet. Just keep the conditioner there so that it will have time to seep through your tresses.
5. Soap for yer body now. Do it extra fast but again, be sure not to miss an inch. Leave it there and then proceed with the little things. (1 minute max)
6. Wash your face. It helps if your facial wash foams fast and rinses fast too. Of course it has to be compatible with your skin as well. I use Garnier Oil Clear. (30 seconds max)
7. Feminine wash right now. You know what to do! *Wink* (30 seconds max)
8. Okay, now it’s your time to rinse. Rinse everything off your body. Just like washing clothes, do it accurately and with 2-4 run-throughs, you’re good to go. Actually, it’s all the rinsing that makes the baths we take long. Naturally, we’d shampoo then rinse. Condition then rinse. Soap then rinse. Et cetera. So do an all-in rinsing and you’re good to go. (2 minutes max)
Voila! A 5 minute bath! 🙂
Play fast, jumpy music to keep you alive. The entire time you’re prepping.
You may also use jumpy music as your alarm tone. Mine is Beyonce’s Run the World for Alarm 3 and 4, Super Bass for Alarm 2 and If it’s Love for Alarm 1.
It’s always best to get your things ready the night before. If you already know what you are going to wear, iron them, lay them out and clean your shoes too.
Aside from the things, you must also get your physical appearance ready for it. Groom your nails, brows and make sure you are not out of shampoo, conditioner, soap, make up and perfume. (For guys, oil blotting paper is highly encouraged.)
Don’t let your mind wander. Get your head in the game and focus on doing everything that needs to be done at the shortest time possible. You can relax when you’re in the cab.
Next time, I’ll teach you how to put make-up on-the-go. Have a great day ahead, bitches! 🙂