You’ve been together for 14 years. 14 years. I loved you for more than half of my life.
I can’t begin to put into words how absolutely shaken my world became when I found out that you guys are splitting up. Worse, it appeared like I was even the last to know.
When Bryan left the group, it’s like a small part of me withered.. I’d reminisce his awesome voice from “If I let you go” and his unbelievable on-stage energy during your first international concerts. Slowly, I accepted that you guys will remain the same boyband I loved to the core.
I loved your music, your lives, and how you always found the right words to describe all the faces love can have. It’s been almost a decade since “Angel’s Wings”, “Fragile Heart” and “Moments” but I still sing those songs in the shower every now and then. Whenever I feel the need to chill out and take a breather, I’d pop in your songs on my laptop. And, as usual, your voices, your melodies, did their magic like clockwork.
I remember the times when I’d save up to buy your tapes (not CDs for they were expensive). I was just a high school student then but I really loved your music that my parents thought I might as well make you a shrine at home. I’m proud to say I’ve memorized more than a hundred of your songs. I’d pounce on anyone who ridiculed your music and labeled it “gay”. WTF. (No offense to Mark.) I’d learned to love the music my dad loves because you’d revive them perfectly. Then I’d read every single article about you, I’d memorize your birthdays and your little quirks and the full names of your song’s composers. Steve Mac and Wayne Hector, they’re the best. Haha! (Swear I didn’t Google! I didn’t even know I still remembered their names.) I’d dream of meeting you and marrying one of you. I even felt a little pang of pain when I learned that Shane was engaged. *whispers* He was my ultimate crush!
Sigh. Please don’t split up. I mean, change your mind, please? I feel like a part of me dies with it. I know that you can’t be the handsome boyband forever but can you please stay a little longer? Maybe just until I get to see and hear and be enchanted live?
I know, I know. I have been stupid. You were here last month, but I didn’t have enough time and money to actually watch you live. I know that deep in my heart, I should’ve been there. As the date drew nearer, I felt like I was experiencing slow death. When the date—and the concert—finally happened. I was devastated. That was not an overstatement.
From then on, I vowed to work like a horse and save up until I catch you somewhere near the country again. I told myself that someday I’ll be rich. Then again, I wouldn’t have to wait for you to come to Phils just to see you. Hell, I’d go to Ireland if I have to. But now that your band has broken up…and my heart’s breaking with it…I really am at a loss for the right words.
As part of this letter, I am recalling my favorite lines from my favorite Westlife songs:
(If you can’t be moved by these lyrics, there IS REALLY SOMETHING WRONG with you. Better have your EQ checked.)
“And you’re the place my life begins, and you’ll be when it ends, I’m flying without wings. And that’s the joy you bring…I’m flying without wings.” – Flying Without Wings
“That’s why I can’t bear to be too far away, I know that God must love me coz He sent you to me on Angel’s wings.” – Angel’s Wings
“Coz every moment we’ve shared together is even better than the moment before. If everyday was, as good as today was, then I can’t wait til tomorrow comes.” – Moments
“There’s a million places I can go..but without you it ain’t home.” – Home
“All they know is when we fight, they never see us in the loving times. What do they know? They don’t know a thing.” – What do they Know?
“If your heart’s not in it for real, please don’t try to fake what you don’t feel. If your love’s already gone, it’s not fair to lead me on coz I would give my whole world to you..anything you ask of me I’d do. But I won’t ask you to stay, I’d rather walk away..” – If Your Heart’s Not In It
“Don’t let me go when I’m this low. Why can’t we talk about it? Why don’t we figure it out?” – Don’t Let Me Go
“Coz I’m still here, to walk through your fires. When I’m not near you my whole world turns into a lie.”- Still Here
And there are others…the problem is, I can’t recall them without feeling heartbroken all over again. I guess this is goodbye, Westlife. But never forget that I love you.
Sigh. They really are breaking up. I wish I can do anything to stop it. Offer a kidney or something. (I am serious.)